True Facts About The CuttleFish

True Facts About The CuttleFish

Here are true facts about the cuttlefish. The cuttlefish is not a fish. It is a mollusk of the class cephalopoda. The cuttlefish is a bit like a clam that millions of years ago came out of its shell and never went back. In fact, it still has a specialized shell but on its inside, which is used for buoyancy and is called the cuttlebone. People for a long time have used this shell to carve casts for metal jewelry. These people are called cuttleboners. By me. And now by you. To move through the ocean, the cuttlefish has a wavy wavy fin that surrounds its mantle. It also has a siphon, a muscular tube it can squirt water out of for fast propulsion. Imagine trying to move by vomiting out of a giant straw and flapping your skirt around very very fast. That is how a cuttlefish do. The cuttlefish brain is larger than its entire body, including its brain, which may not make sense, but it does to the cuttlefish. Because it has a very large brain, the cuttlefish has a very advanced eye, roughly in the shape of Charlie Brown’s mouth when he misses a football. Or perhaps a W that someone wrote when they were drunk. Or the letter Q that someone wrote when they were REALLY drunk. Despite its big brain and weird eyes, the cuttlefish is colorblind, which is curious because it is a color magician of the deep. Like a lactose intolerant cheesemaker, the cuttlefish is unaware of its own gifts. With the help of millions of color change-y things in its skin, it can change color and texture almost instantaneously. Playing hide and seek with a cuttlefish sucks. They don’t move, they just change color. You can hear them breathing while you count. How the cuttlefish determines the backgrounds it blends in to is largely a mystery because it can do it in complete darkness, which is kind of a dumb gift if you ask me, but still amazing. Aaahhh!! Fish!! (chuckle) Then there’s the flamboyant cuttlefish, which doesn’t try to blend in with sh*t. It just says, “Why doesn’t the world try to blend in with ME?” You go little man. Don’t go changin’ for nobody. When it is threatened, the cuttlefish will often release ink from its ink sac. The cuttlefish releases that ink in one of two ways. One is a little–priffing–sort of squirt. Something you might say “excuse me” after. The second is a release of both ink and mucus. More of a “throw your underwear out and go home early” sort of inking. These are called “pseudomorphs,” and they’re designed to be decoys for the cuttlefish as it escapes. The cuttlefish feeds by extending two hidden feeding tentacles, which it uses to snag prey and pull it back towards its poison beak. What?? Well, apparently it has a beak. Very slowly it extends…(chuckle) oh that fish just had to move, like, two inches. Cuttlefish mating begins when the male delicately grabs the female by the face and inserts another specialized tentacle into an opening near her mouth, which I hope is not her nose, and inserts sperm sacs. Males have four pairs of arms and females have three. Weaker males often disguise themselves as females by hiding two of their arms. This reminds me of what I may or may not have done in the mirror as a young boy. These cleverly disguised males swim right past the competition and do the face sex thing. After the female eggs are fertilized, she gingerly and lovingly puts her eggs in some random friggin hole on the bottom of the ocean. The eggs are called “sea grapes” by people who like sh*tty wine. And they are guarded by the couple until they hatch into the cutest little freaks in the universe. These little babies are not so good at the camouflage, but they do the best that they can. Cover yourself up, little man. And sleep tight. Remember, if you ever wanna come out of your shell and let your freak flag fly, the cuttlefish has your back. Or front. I don’t know, I can’t tell with them with what’s front and what’s back Point is, don’t let the tentacle parts wrap around your head. Or if it happens, plug your nose. ‘Cause your nose might get preeegnant.

Comments (100)

  1. 0:58 That is how a cuddlefish DOES.

  2. So tiny males are traps?

  3. The narrator is like Morgan Freeman after a couple of joints.

  4. "The eggs are called sea-grapes by people who like shitty wine." 😂😂😂😂 his comedic genius is off the charts!

  5. You ain’t right 🤣

  6. AAaAAaaaaAhhh a fish

  7. Cuddle boners ROFLMAO!!!!

  8. That's is how a cuttlefish do.

  9. "Fisssssssshhhhhhhhhh"

  10. "Your nose might get preeegnant."

  11. "You go little man" 😂

  12. All hail the cuttlehlu

  13. this sounds like someone doing a morgan freeman/ dr. evil accent

  14. Well, here we spin a web of fibs, Mr. Gordon! How long must a delicate fruit shrub go without yo-yos? Your welcome.

  15. So a cuttlefish is like an alien facehugger. Only it’s real underwater and only impregnates female cuttlefish. 🤪

  16. I wonder what it is like to be a aquatic creature

  17. Lol "CUTTLE BONER"

  18. Now this is the time….

  19. Gold constantly gold

  20. Estos animales a los cefalopodos me refiero son sumamente inteligentes algún día crearán una civilización acuática

  21. Us: "Babies."
    Video: "Bi Bi's."

  22. Omg the handling are so cute!

  23. Huh…..So thats what my budgie pecks to shap its beak…cuttlebone fron the cuttlefish

  24. This narrator is my new favorite

  25. How did they get the cat to talk?

  26. I don’t understand the voice but I like it

  27. Awesome narration – I think the cuttle fish nation would approve 🤟

  28. You earned my subscription… that is how a subscriber do.

  29. Please tell me this is the narrator that did the crack spider

  30. why watching this i have a shark tooth big and a big cuddle fish Bone

  31. "The eggs are called sea-grapes, by people who like shitty Wines" Comedy gold right there 🙂

  32. Too funny, yet informative. Lol

  33. These are so great!!

  34. This is probably where the writers of Alien got the idea for face huggers from.

  35. I'm more of a vanilla paste man myself but…alright.

  36. Millions of years never happened

  37. 1 The Cuttlefish brain is not as big as its body or it would be dead, 2 you can't say the cuttlefish is blind because nobody knows that plus if it was color blind then it wouldn't know how to use its ability to change color

  38. Cuttlefish don’t give a shit, he just slaps the shit out of that cobra…eww gross

  39. basically a squid, but much more weird

  40. Its brain is bigger than the whole body including the brain?????🤔

  41. 3:36 I know what you are talking about

  42. I put my tongue in my girlfriend‘s nose hole after watching this. Then said, “what?! You don’t want to cattle?”

  43. Awww the baby was so cute!!

  44. I totally understand why u have 2.5 million subs. Funny af.

  45. Favorite animal on Earth 💕💕💕

  46. These things are so interesting, their tentacles seem so expressive, also cool how newborn animals have the instinct to hide/bury themselves already

  47. 3:36 Buffalo Bill gets what he's talking about

  48. beak, camo, frog tong , colorblind, oscillating fins, water cannon, dick for a mouth…… WHAT THE HELL would tierzoo say about this thing.

  49. Cuttleboners, squirt. 👌

  50. Alright this is big brain time

  51. They are like a weird cross between a seahorse and an octopus.

  52. "like a lactose intolerant, the cuttlefish is unaware of its own gifts" 🤣🤣

  53. Cuttlefish:
    This is big brain LIFE

  54. So that’s what my bird rubs his beak on.

  55. Never seen so many quotes from a vid as on this thread.
    Well done people!!!

  56. Great channel!Greetings from Italy

  57. "bebbies" hahahahha!!!!!

  58. You got my thumbs up when you compared the cuttlefish to yourself in the mirror as a young boy…OMFG…lolololol!


  60. The end of fcking hilarious

  61. Next time someone asks if people can get pregnant from swallowing sperm I’m going to say “what are you a cuttlefish?”

  62. No one:

    Cuttlefish :


  63. He is hilarious I love him! He truly makes learning fun!

  64. OH NO! Cuttlefish is about to come out of my asshole! Here it comes! It's going to be rough! Hold on Kyle, I believe in you!!

    "Japanese guy has a shit explosion in Kyle's mouth."

  65. Your noise might get pregnant!

  66. Dude is like a smart ass David Attenborough.

  67. Whoa, those cuddle bones we would get for the parrots were from these? Cause they look strikingly similar!

  68. The narration on these "true facts" vids is hilarious! I'll certainly retain more info from these vids than from any other fact-based vids.

  69. True facts. Explained by morgan freeman’s lost white brother

  70. which I hope is not her nose lol

  71. 2:11 aaaahhhh fish!!!!

  72. Cutie Patootie
    im back
    like I said
    Cutie Patootie

  73. Omg…I am effen cracking up!

  74. Parakeets like cuddlebones

  75. "The cuttlefish is not a fish"

    so what is it then

  76. because who knows you might get preeegnant

  77. I wanna do what the Cuttlefish do.

  78. "The cuttlefish brain is larger than it's entire body, including it's brain, which may not make sense, but it does to the cuttlefish"

  79. I love watching your video's ZeFrank!!! You so make my day! Blessings, Fran

  80. a yes, the old times of the big turf war

  81. …"while looking at myself in the mirror"…that's both disturbing and erotic at the same instant being intoned by some 'posh Brit' pretending to be Cousteau…I LIKE IT!

  82. the cuttlefish can have my back or my front, just not my face.

  83. I give cuttlebones to my berds. The cockatiel is trying to make baebaes so she needs the calcium

  84. Cuttlefish are the aquatic version of the "face-huggers" from the Alien movie-franchise. Indeed, watch all of ZeFrank's collected animal videos and you will discover where HR Giger got all of his ideas for those alien creatures, and their various morphology, from real life animals. Anyway, we should pity the poor cuttlefish, because not only do they taste good to humans and most aquatic animals, but millions of them have died so that parakeets and cockatiels will have something to chew on and won't get bored in their little gilded cages…..

  85. How often will you be uploading, I need more Zefrank! Love these!!

  86. 0:11 pearl liaison?

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