Lizzie: So the thing about my mother is that she
loves a good panic. Seriously. I have never seen her happier than when she thought
radiation was going to cross the Pacific from Japan and kill us all. Then there’s my dad,
who’s really calm, smart, and supportive of us. He likes to spend his days reading by his bonsai collection. How these two ever got together in the
first place, I will never know. My name is Lizzie Bennet and these are my parents. “My Parents: Opposingly Supportive”
Written by Margaret Dunlap What’s keeping Mom “happy” at the moment is
that she’s decided we can’t go over to meet Bing Lee like normal people. No. For some
reason, Dad has to go over and introduce the rest of us. And he hasn’t done it yet.
This has been going on all week: Lizzie: And if you do not go visit Bing
Lee tomorrow, we may as well resign ourselves to not meeting him until Emily Lu
invites us to her daughter’s wedding. Charlotte: Charlotte Lu is getting married?
Why would Bing Lee be at her wedding? Lizzie: Because he’s the groom! So that’s been fun. Oh! And Charlotte, apparently
you’re going to marry Bing Lee. Congratulations. Charlotte: You know, we still don’t know what he looks like.
Lizzie: Exactly! But fortunately for this odd couple marriage, there is
nothing Dad enjoys more than winding mom up. I made a chart! Lydia: NERD!
Lizzie: Get out! So then of course when dad actually introduces himself
to Bing Lee, he doesn’t, you know, tell Mom. Because that would be the normal thing to do. No. He waits until mom is so frustrated over him not
meeting Bing Lee that she yells that she’s sick of the whole thing and would be happy never to hear the
name Bing Lee again. And that’s when Dad says: Charlotte: Oh, that’s too bad. I met him while he was getting his membership at the club. and he’ll be at Ellen Gibson’s wedding.
Apparently, he’s a friend of the groom. I told him all about our girls.
There’s no way to avoid meeting him now. Lizzie: And now she’s back on the Bing Lee:
Future Son-in-Law train. Choo choo! Thanks, Dad. I do not believe he went over there and
talked about us. I can just imagine that conversation… Charlotte: Hello. I’m your new neighbor.
Lizzie: Hello. I’m a rich, successful medical student. Charlotte: I’m well aware of that. In fact, my wife has sent me to meet you so that
you can eventually marry one of our daughters. Lizzie: Are they hot?
Charlotte: Attractive. Accomplished. Even smart. My Lizzie is getting an advanced degree in
Mass Communications, which dooms her to a life of unemployment, so she could
use a rich husband like you. Lizzie: What if I’m looking for something more in a trophy wife? Charlotte: Well, her sister Jane is quite the fashionable
beauty and would be stunning on your arm. And word around campus is that my youngest,
Lydia, is a bit of a slut. Lydia: I heard that! Lizzie: My sister Lydia is not a slut. Happy?
Lydia: Yes. Lizzie: So next weekend, our family friends
the Gibsons are marrying off one of their daughters. Which serves as another in-your-face reminder to my
mom about how pathetically single her daughters are. But there’s hope! Because Bing Lee is a friend of the
groom. So now, apparently, he’s coming. Cannot wait. So tune in next time for… Operation: Matchmaker Wedding! Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire Med Student? Survivor: My Parents. Yeah. Yeah I really gotta figure out how to end these things. But for now, there’s…