When I was nine I named a stuffed animal after the guy Dick Cheney shot. This one. Pretty much sums up who I am as a person. So after my last video, some of you may be thinking, Kathleen, why don’t you continue to make really intellectual, thought provoking content? Like this video. Well… I don’t know. So when my brother and I were little, our mom would give us stuffed animals on Valentine’s Day every year. and we created personalities and stories and a whole world in which these little stuffed animals lived and we called them the Valentine’s Day Group. They didn’t used to live in my room, because they lived in my brother’s room, which is weirder now that I think about it. But they were in this box, and when my brother moved out, to go to medical school, all of the stuffed animals were evicted from their box. And now they’re in my room. And rather than just putting them in another box and putting them away and pretending that I’m an adult, I thought I would exploit this mound of stuffed animals in my room and make a youtube video. I have a college degree. So in the Valentine’s Day Group, my brother had elephants and I had…mostly dogs… and hippos for some reason. But a lot of these animals were too dumb to pronounce their own names, particularly the elephants. So they were the Epntys. They had Epnty-land, And then my animals had… shit, where is she… My animals had Mousy-topia after Mousy. Which, a year later I realized when I got… Beary Mousy was actually a bear. But I couldn’t change her name to
Beary because this is Beary. And then a couple years after that I realized that Mousy looks a lot more like a chinchilla. So… um… This is Mousy. And this is Beary. She never had much of an identity crisis. also I got a lot smarter the second time around Chinchilla was not in her vocabulary so we just continued to call her Mousy. She has a heart on her butt. So this guy is Mr. Whittington. I named him after the guy Dick Cheney shot. I think I was nine. Anyway. I got this guy on Valentine’s Day and I had no idea what to name him Cuz, I mean, I had used Mousy, I’d used Beary, and Doggy just sounded really stupid. so I went a couple of days and he didn’t have a name and I felt really bad about that, and then Dick Cheney shot a dude and then the guy Dick Cheney shot had a
heart attack and THIS guy, at that point in time, had this little ribbon with hearts hung around his neck. And I was like, Valentine’s Day! Heart attack! Naturally, I named him Mr. Whittington. He became the lawyer in the Valentine’s Day Group. I was a strange child. This is Mz. Hipo. because she was one of the dumb ones and she couldn’t spell. So this is Hearty. This one’s interesting. This is the smartest of the animals and she decided, that she would rule over all of the rest of the animals, because that’s what you do when you’re smart and you have a bunch of dumb people around you. And Hearty is special because Hearty has this little thing, which I think is a tentacle, and she zaps people with it. She smites them. Like the Old Testament God. We were really dark children now that I think about it. This is Woof, and this is Ruff. They are Hearty’s bodyguards. I don’t know why she needed protecting since she could smite people. But, these were Hearty’s bodyguards. Woof. Ruff. You could remember it because Woof starts with W, which is white, and Ruff is red. This is Spot. The first of the Christmas animals, which became a part of the Valentine’s Day Group for various reasons. And then came Dot, Tot, Little Shot, and Snoopy. And they’re the, uh…conglomeration of dogs. Now that I think about it they were never really part of the Valentine’s Day Group, They just kind of hung out with them… probably because it was entertaining. And then this is Subwoofer. I was proud of that one, I’m not gonna lie to you. *CRASH Yea, I don’t, I don’t remember this one like at all. So… I don’t know where I was going with this video. And the more I think about it and the longer I film, the more I think this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever made. Believe it or not, before I filmed this video, I was watching episode one of Ken Burns’ “Vietnam” documentary.